A Kernel of Fact about Relationships
{” It’s everything about relationships!” proclaimed my father throughout our current holiday go to with my moms and dads. Santa Claus coffee cup in one hand and a wagging finger toward my other half, Elizabeth, with the other. “When you retire, that’s what you realize is essential in life” (all right, so that’s not him in the photo).|Santa Claus coffee cup in one hand and a wagging finger toward my other half, Elizabeth, with the other. “When you retire, that’s what you realize is most important in life” (all right, so that’s not him in the photo).}
Dad recently retired from 30+ years as an orthopedic surgeon and the significant shift in lifestyle appears to have produced a substantial shift in his outlook on life. For me, his statement about relationships ended up being much broader and more extensive than I believed such {a simple and reasonable |a reasonable and simple} statement could ever end up being.
{Initially look, it makes good sense that relationships are important to our lives. Whether it is relationship, dating, {marital relationship, household or neighborhood|marital relationship, neighborhood or household|household, marital relationship or neighborhood|household, neighborhood or marital relationship|neighborhood, marital relationship or household|neighborhood, household or marital relationship}, relationships with others belong of our daily life. They give us belonging, significance, {friendship, intimacy and love|friendship, love and intimacy|intimacy, friendship and love|intimacy, love and friendship|love, friendship and intimacy|love, intimacy and friendship}. {But, drawing back from this view and taking a broad gander at the subject I recognized that relationships are more than just significant interactions with people.|Pulling back from this view and taking a broad gander at the subject I recognized that relationships are more than just significant interactions with people.} When we “relate” or interact with something we are, in reality, in relationship with it. {For instance, our relationship with work, our relationship with ourselves, our relationship with our health and our relationship with our spirituality.|Our relationship with work, our relationship with ourselves, our relationship with our health and our relationship with our spirituality.} By defining relationships from this broader point of view, our relationship list becomes practically endless.|Whether it is relationship, dating, {marital relationship, household or neighborhood|marital relationship, neighborhood or household|household, marital relationship or neighborhood|household, neighborhood or marital relationship|neighborhood, marital relationship or household|neighborhood, household or marital relationship}, relationships with others are a part of our daily life. Our relationship with work, our relationship with ourselves, our relationship with our health and our relationship with our spirituality. By defining relationships from this broader point of view, our relationship list becomes practically endless.}
{You see, when we take a look at our relationships, we take a look at our interaction with every part of our lives; people, {places, things, and occasions|places, occasions, and things|things, places, and occasions|things, occasions, and places|occasions, places, and things|occasions, things, and places}. {So, what is our relationship to our work, ourselves, our environment, our health, our spirituality?|What is our relationship to our work, ourselves, our environment, our health, our spirituality?} How do we connect to these things? Or, better yet, if it is “everything about relationships” how are our essential relationships?|You see, when we look at our relationships, we look at our interaction with every part of our lives; people, {places, things, and occasions|places, occasions, and things|things, places, and occasions|things, occasions, and places|occasions, places, and things|occasions, things, and places}. Or, much better yet, if it is “all about relationships” how are our most important relationships?}
Coming from the psychotherapy world, I typically assisted {couples, households and people|couples, people and households|households, couples and people|households, people and couples|people, couples and households|people, households and couples} enhance individual relationships by working through a series of 5 concerns. {When I widened my definition of relationships, I discovered that these concerns are applicable to all kinds of relationships.|I discovered that these concerns are applicable to all types of relationships when I widened my definition of relationships.} The concerns go something like this:
1. What relationships do you value most?
Be clear about what you value and which relationships are genuinely concerns to you.
2. Why do you value them?
Comprehending the value these relationships have for you highlights the value of the relationship and clarifies why a relationship “feels” important.
3. How do you nurture each relationship?
Now that you’ve recognized how and why a relationship is necessary, you should specify what it is that you do to keep that relationship alive and growing.
4. How do you preserve your commitment through the difficult times?
{Are the divorce statistics really any various from the variety of other relationships that end in our own lives (i.e., dropping the diet plan, “forgetting” workout, leaving job after job, putting individual objectives and dreams on hold, navigating to the God/spiritual thing when you have more time, etc)? These relationships may not always be a marital relationship however like a marital relationship these relationships have their challenging times. Much like a marital relationship, we should work through the tough times in our other relationships instead of set them aside till a better time or just plain hope the struggles disappear. This is typically the point at which my coaching customers seek my help.|These relationships may not always be a marital relationship however like a marital relationship these relationships have their challenging times. Comparable to a marital relationship, we should work through the tough times in our other relationships rather than set them aside till a better time or just plain hope the struggles go away.}
You will undoubtedly discover that nurturing these relationships is typically like a balancing act. {Though, when we identify the key relationships in our lives and begin relating with them instead of leaving them on our “To Do” list, we will soon discover that balance in life is an achievable goal and that, in reality, life genuinely is everything about relationships.|When we identify the key relationships in our lives and begin relating with them rather than leaving them on our “To Do” list, we will soon discover that balance in life is an achievable goal and that, in reality, life genuinely is all about relationships.}
Our relationship with work, our relationship with ourselves, our relationship with our health and our relationship with our spirituality. By defining relationships from this broader point of view, our relationship list becomes practically endless.
When I widened my definition of relationships, I discovered that these concerns are applicable to all types of relationships. These relationships may not always be a marital relationship however like a marital relationship these relationships have their challenging times. Comparable to a marital relationship, we should work through the tough times in our other relationships rather than set them aside till a better time or just plain hope the struggles go away.
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